The end of an era

I didn't mention this in Lily's 14 month update because I wasn't entirely certain we'd passed this milestone at the time but it appears now that we definitely have.

Lily is officially weaned.

She actually hasn't breastfed since about a week before she turned 14 months old but she had gone a couple of days without breastfeeding previously so I wasn't completely sure she wouldn't still nurse again. This was a bittersweet transition for me. She's growing up and that's hard to face even though it's exciting and I love seeing her grow and learn. But this was a major physical bond between us. It was the one major thing that only she and I shared. No one else could provide that nourishment and comfort to her. There are still times when she only wants comfort from me but those are becoming fewer too and the connection isn't as tangible. The actual process of weaning wasn't terribly difficult and almost happened on it's own.

We didn't attempt to start weaning at all until Lily turned one. Breast milk (or formula) is supposed to be her major source of nutrition until she turned one. Other food is just for practice and fun--not for it's nutritional value. I think parents/people are often in a rush for babies to grow up. I'm excited about things to come but I'd be happy to keep Lily as my little baby as long as possible. Once she turned one, whole milk was OK. Adjusting to that took a little while but she adapted quickly. We switched to whole milk and dropped bottles all in one swoop. I thought it might be easier to go through one difficult patch rather than two (by switching to whole milk and then switching to sippy cups later). My next step was to just stop offering breastfeeding as an option. If she asked I let her but I didn't offer it. I kept around our morning feeding/cuddle time the longest but eventually I just stopped that as well. She never really put up a fuss about it. She can't say she wants milk or wants to breastfeed verbally but she has been signing "milk" for months and months. Fortunately for me probably, that's a generic "milk" and I don't know when it meant breast milk or whole milk. So if she signed "milk" I gave her milk in a sippy cup. She didn't seem to mind. About a week before she turned 14 months she nursed for the last time (although we didn't know for sure it'd be the last time then).

Overall it went about as best as I could have hoped for. I don't think it was particularly rough on her or me. I don't think we rushed things. We didn't stop the day she turned one. These were all things that were important to me. Before Lily, I was always concerned about her getting to the point of being able to "ask for it" and knowing that was too old to nurse. I don't feel that way any more. I wouldn't feel like a bad mother if we were still nursing now or even 6 months from now. I feel like it was a slow transition for us over almost two months and it was the right time for us.

Breastfeeding was a wonderful thing for me. It was difficult at times but rewarding and convenient too. I had hoped not to have to give Lily any formula at all but in the end she did get formula at day care for a few months when I decided to cut down and then completely quit pumping at work. It wasn't what I hoped for but it was fine and she (obviously) is fine. I am definitely proud that I supported most of her nutrition through her first 12-14 months of life.